In moving toward my personal brave new worlds….of consulting, and independent projects, and collaborations with wonderful colleagues….and of leaving the Hudson Valley to create more room for all those efforts to burgeon…
I find myself mulling the “Always”, “Only” and “Never” statements. They go something like this…
I will never work 9-5 again!
I will only do work I love.
I will never find a place as beautiful, with people as wonderful, as here.
I will never be nourished sufficiently without this garden, this sky, these trees, those stars…
If I don’t take this (fill in the blank with your favorite household object) with me, I will always regret it.
A few years hence, every time I look back at all that has happened, I will always be grateful that I sold my house.
I catch myself thinking these things when I am with folks from around here, or while re-discovering Grandma’s coffee set in the attic, or as I watch the golden leaves cascade down in a sudden gust.
And I hear determination, and fear, and lots of projections. Anyone else?
But underneath, there is a core belief that these are sound choices; that there is something unshakably authentic about this path.
I am not waking at 3am, in a panic, wondering about my sanity. I go about all the requisite activities with focus. I am asking for help, and getting it.
And, I am now old enough to have institutional memory. I know that I have, indeed, always been sustained, sometimes in ways I would not have imagined. I see that I have always been with wonderful people, regardless of my surroundings.
So, I know that nothing is forever, or for never. Or, for always, for that matter.
At least, in the limited “always” (and “only” and “never”) that I can conjure.
Which means this is about faith, and trust, and hope.