Yes, Doritos. Specifically, Super Bowl 45 Doritos.
The Doritos which give the mild-mannered pug a super-canine strength sufficient to bust down a door.
The Doritos which create a perverse obsession that propels nerdy office guy into a new stratosphere of creepy, finger-licking, pants-stealing behavior.
The Doritos which are apparently so powerful that, upon their application, dead fish revive, withered plants bloom, and a much-beloved Grandpa is reconstituted from his ashes.
And, if you missed these commercials, just check out YouTube.
Now, we are savvy consumers. We know that Doritos are a cheese-flavored, salty, crunchy snack. We know that Doritos will not create super-dogs, turn people into perverts or raise the dead.
But, to my way of thinking, and being as kind as I can, let’s say that advertising exists to help us discern our desires and then provide solutions, in the form of consumables. And, it may even help us see those desires in grotesquely high relief, such that we can distance ourselves safely from the extremes, while admitting it’s a little bit like how we are, too.
Hence, though I can laugh at, and perhaps even diagnose, creepy office guy, I can also locate a little bit of obsession and anti-social behavior in myself.
Like the time I didn’t quite cut the piece of cake perfectly in half. And then, I gave the smaller part to my partner.
Oh, yeah, that.
Or, the time I was in such a rush to get the bus to New Paltz that I bowled over someone who was in my way. Ah, my inner super-pug.
Then, there are times when, I , too, have neglected the metaphorical fish, the plant, and even been clumsy with someone’s life (no, dropping ashes hasn’t happened, yet). In those cases, there is no miraculous sprinkling of Doritos to make it all better.
But, there have been times, seemingly miraculous, when I have admitted my failings, asked for forgiveness, and received it. And, something did come back to life.